Day 330

Thankful for waking up to a cozy apartment, spending the morning cleaning and then getting ready for a first date, really wonderful first dates spent nerding out at a museum and eating hamburgers, and nights spent watching football and prison shows with the roommate! Today was just an incredibly good day. :]

Day 329

Thankful for amazing breakfasts, solid runs while listening to 90's jams, lazy days and good country music.

Day 328

Thankful for my amazing sister in law who invited me to hang out with her family for thanksgiving, delicious food in absolute abundance, playing crazy card games for multiple hours and laughter.

Day 327

Thankful for last days in clinic as a student, for encouraging words from co-workers, delicious dinners to celebrate with the roommate and relaxing all night! 

Day 326

Thankful for last days with my final clinical instructor, watching 3 of my patients discharge home before Thanksgiving, encouragement from clinicians that I am on the right path, and for God's absolute grace!

Today was a special day for me. It marked the end of my time as a student. Sure, I have a few things left to do to make everything official but today marks the beginning of the end. As I look back over the past 3 years and especially the last year I can only raise my hands in praise to my Abba because without Him I wouldn't be here today.

It's so easy to take encouragement and praise and allow it to be blocks to build yourself up with but today as my clinical instructor gave me my final remarks I realized just how deeply God's love has changed me. While my clinical abilities were graded as good it was my professionalism and ability to interact with patients, parents, and co-workers that was so applauded. And the crazy thing about that is without Jesus I wouldn't have those attributes.

You see, before Jesus remarkably changed the projection of my life, I was all about me. I wanted nothing more than to fill my life with the pleasures and idols of this world. I ran consistently and faithfully towards satisfaction , that never provided fulfillment. I was completely selfish, self-oriented, self-controlled and absolutely not self-giving. I used others to make me feel better about myself and greatly relied on their constant praise to feel "okay." I sought peer recognition and when I didn't get it I rejected the person who refused to give it to me and bashed their weaknesses. I was incredibly self-conscious and daily beat myself up for my faults physically and mentally. I was a liar. I was promiscuous in my dating relationships. I was disrespectful towards my family. I was manipulative. And I sought one thing, to be better than everyone else.

But now I am changed. I am a daughter of the King of Kings and He is my compass. He is what I consistently and faithfully runs towards. I yearn more and more of Him and seek His face daily. I crave fulfillment from His word and know that the only person I need to accept me did so before I was born by dying a excruciating death. And even greater than that He rose again and He lives today in me! He daily turns my heart of stone into a heart of flesh and His work in me is good but never done. He is molding me into His image despite the fact that I am completely unworthy. He builds me up each time I fall, and fall I do so often.

It is because of Him, and only Him, that I can give my all in daily situations. It is because of Him that I am able to be joyful in struggle, patient in difficult times, and understanding of the situations others find themselves in. And it is because of Him that I have succeeded in this difficult program.

There were so many times I wanted to give up because it was too hard and I grew too weary, but He was steadfast. He lifted my head and wiped tears from my eyes as I cried out to Him during my first semester to send me out of this country and into the mission field. And He whispered to me to remain faithful and to be patient. He gave me perseverance and rest during the stressful semesters that followed. He filled me with peace when I felt like a failure. He loved my heart so deeply that He provided me with comforting, encouraging and supporting friends, who despite the turmoil of this year stood by my side as I questioned whether I should continue on in PT school or move home to be with my family. He lovingly set me in my place when my sense of self-worth grew too big by providing me with a difficult last clinical rotation and a challenging clinical instructor. He never gave up on me. He never turned away. And through it all He was drawing me closer and closer to Himself.

I am thankful that He has opened my eyes to see that the achievements I have made in my life are for His glory not my own. My life could end tomorrow but my hope is that the way I lived would ripple away from my central core out into the lives of those I have interacted with and that their eyes would turn to the Creator of All Things.

My joy now longer stems from the praise of others but rather by projecting my praise to my good Father. Each day is a battle between the desires of my flesh and the gentle calling of The Spirit. I know that I will fall again but I know that my God is bigger and He will not forsake me. He loves me too much to allow me to destroy myself.

Sanctification isn't always an enjoyable process. Most of the time it's quite painful and it's hard because it's stone on stone, but I know that where I am now is greater than the life I planned before I was saved at 18. And for that I will continually raise my hands in praise.

Thank you Abba Father.

Day 325

Thankful for last Mondays as a PT student, adorable little patients who start speaking after NATBIs, gingerbread lattes, sweatpants and hoodies, and Matt Wertz pandora stations.

Day 324

Thankful for water and Gatorade, WHATABURGER, sweatpants and lifetime movies.

Day 323

Thankful for warm cuddly puppy dogs, delicious tea lattes, adventures with the roommate, amazing 90's playlists while we got all fancy, margarita ball madness, and snapchat.

Day 322

Thankful for last Fridays at clinic, evals that go better than expected, skinny peppermint mochas, spending the afternoon laughing and being silly with co workers, delicious comfort foods for dinner and finishing an adorable book!

Day 321

Thankful for busy days back at work, meeting new kiddos, continuing the countdown to the LASTDAY of clinicals, half price margaritas and ridiculous photos from friends.

Day 320

Thankful for productive mornings with delicious winter dream tea lattes, teriyaki chicken, and amazing weather.

Day 319

Thankful for opportunities to sleep in, productive days to catch up on all the little things, crockpot chicken and dumplings, and puppy cuddles.

Day 318

Thankful for beautiful sunrises on the way to work, finding out I don't have to be in clinic for the next couple of days, being productive at home, and crossing things off my to-do list.

Day 317

Thankful for shopping expeditions even if they fail miserably, preparing for the last full week of clinicals and being lazy.

Day 316

Thankful for my awesome roommate, free coffee, house hunting, imagining the future and knowing that in the end God is in control.

Day 315

Thankful for Fridays, continually getting closer to the end of my last clinical, lazy nights spent with the roommate and pup dog.

Day 314

Thankful for successful evaluations, getting to hold adorable babies all day, ridiculous conversations with my besties, $3 dollar margaritas, and my roommate. 

Day 313

Thankful for waking up joyful despite a frigid apartment, warm coats, snap chatting with the besties, setting up plans to look at houses (eeeek! :]), crockpot meals, gingerbread lattes and comfy beds.

Day 312

Thankful for my dad and older brother who always give me great advice, short days at work, stepping into the 21st century (that's right y'all I have an iPhone...RIP Sammy Samsung, you were a solid companion for 4 years), house hunting with Lindsey, and catching up with miss alley.  

Day 311

Thankful for successful in services, encouragement from clinicians, marking down days till the end of my last clinical, frozen yogurt trips with the roommate, and phone calls with the bestie.

Day 310

Thankful for homestyle breakfast with the family, worshipping in Grandpa's church, lazy afternoons with the crew, safe flights back home, and roommates who clean the apartment while you are gone.

This weekend was so bittersweet for me. I know that Grandpa is singing in full glory with Christ and with that knowledge I will rest easy. I miss him dearly and know that this will be one of many days that I miss him but I know that I will see him again.

Day 309

Thankful for entire days spent with the family celebrating the life of my grandpa. Love hearing the stories about how he affected people's lives, how he served The Lord fervently, how he loved his family and how he led this country. 

Day 308

Thankful for officially being employed (papers signed), applying for my temporary license, safe flights to virginia, seeing family I haven't seen in over 15 years, and remembering grandpa as the incredible man he was. 

Day 307

Thankful for Thursdays that are actually Fridays, counting down till last clinical day, watching football with the roomie in public and SYTTD.

Day 306

Thankful for late mornings, Starbucks coffee, worship jams while stuck in traffic, spending time with an encouraging clinician, texts from friends full of scripture and truth, leaving clinic early and crockpot meals.

Day 305

Thankful for opportunities to learn from new clinicians, feeling as though I am a necessary part of the team, encouraging text messages from friends, cold weather, and cuddly blankets.

Day 304

Thankful for rejuvenating Sundays, starting my morning with encouragement from the Word and hot coffee, only productive consisted of grocery shopping and laundry, afternoons spent watching rom-coms with the roommate, and cool evenings.

THIS VERSE. 

Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal. (2 Corinthians 4:16-18 NIV)

Day 303

Thankful for new coffee flavors, morning runs in 60 degree weather listening to Tenth Avenue North, her hair color for fall time, college football Saturday, aggie football win (whoop!), and adding an extra hour on for time change.

Day 302

Thankful for Fridays, meeting new students, half days at clinic, new coffee, delicious dinner and knowing I get to sleep in tomorrow.