13 Things I learned during 2013

I am sure many of you saw this coming but for my final post for 2013  I thought I'd reminisce on the 13 BIG things I learned this year.

But before we get to that, my last thankful post.

I am thankful for Megan Fenney who drove up to spend the day with me! LOVE HER so much and could not ask for a more perfect person to ring in the new year with. I still cannot believe we met as potluck roommates at Texas A&M! God is so darn good!

1. Family matters.
As a 25 year old, it is so easy to push family away in a search to find independence, freedom and self-value but what I learned more than anything else this year is that family is of the utmost importance. With my Dad's diagnosis of lung cancer, Uncle's diagnosis of bladder cancer and the passing away of my Grandad I probably spent more time with my family in 2013 than most years which is quite sad. Circumstances brought us together frequently this year but it was our love for each other that kept us all going during an extremely stressful and hard year that none of us foresaw.

2. Friends are the family God gives you for when you can't be with your own.
I would not have made it this year without the love, support, encouragement and comfort given to me by my friends. From Katie P, Lindsey and Alley, who spent many hours in my apartment in Irving consoling me when I learned of my Dad's diagnosis and then dealt with the process of his surgeries and recovery. To Bekah and Megan, who despite the distance poured out love to me through care packages, cards, phone calls and text messages. To Phillip who always knew exactly which verse I needed to hear and consistently poured truth into all areas of my life. To my PT classmates, who sent me texts and offered me help with notes when I missed multiple days of class. My friends have been a solid foundation to an otherwise unstable and unpredictable year. We laughed together, cried together and grew together as we all inch closer to the real world!

3.25 is more awkward of a year than anyone ever warned you.
I've had this conversation with many of my friends...no one warned us about this really awkward stage in our life that consists of the years 22-27. I was not prepared. When I was a little girl, I always imagined that by 25 my life would be "all together." I'd know exactly who I was, what I was doing and it would be awesome. I probably also imagined I'd be married and working on starting a family by now, but that's not my reality. Despite this being some of the most tumultuous years of my life, they've also been so of the most random, fun and exciting years too. So if you don't have your act today, don't stress it. Live it out!

4. Graduating is always stressful, exciting and intimidating.
I don't care if you're graduating from 5th grade, high school, undergraduate, or graduate school graduating is stressful! You are worried that you look stupid in the hat (which you do), and that you are going to trip up the stairs. You are even more intimidated by the idea that this is closing a chapter and you are being forced to turn the page. But if you are honest with yourself, you are also really freakin' excited (GO ME! I DID THIS! HATAS GONNA HATE!!). My graduation was an absolute mess due to SNOW-PACOLYPSE 2013. But it was also amazing because I was able to celebrate the completion of a journey I had been working towards for a long time!

5. Moving still sucks.
I moved a total of 4 times this year and every one of them sucked. I feel like a moving pro now but if you know you have to move in 2014 just prepare yourself now, it will be terrible.

6. Boys are still stupid.
It doesn't matter their age, occupation or initial level of interest in you, boys are still dumb. They still don't know what they want. They rarely initiate. They leave you clueless and at the end of the day being single really ain't that bad.

7. I yearly need to travel outside of this country.
I did not make it out of the country in 2013 and man am I itching to get out! I love learning about new cultures but I crave being immersed completely in them. I am making a promise to myself to go somewhere I have never been every year. It may not always be out of the country but it will be at least out of the state.

8. You are always 17 in your hometown.
Everytime I go back home, I leave a strong independent woman and arrive in Rockport as insecure and lost as I was the day I left. Curse you hometown! Your hometown has some kind of voodoo hold over you that is hard to break.

9. Peace can be found in the most random places.
This year require a lot of quiet time for me and I realized that this doesn't have to take place on the top of a mountain just before sunrise (although that would be stinkin' awesome). It's okay for your quiet place to be a random city park, your apartment patio or the local coffee shop. Find somewhere where you can really just sit and be still. God loves to talk, you just need to listen.

10. God challenges you using multiple mediums.
This year was my year to learn about trust and patience. I can imagine God throwing His hands up multiple times this year and saying "Did I not already teach you this exact thing already?" I am kind of (cough cough) stubborn. Boy did He teach me though. Through books, sermons, songs, conversations, blogs and His Word, He poured into to me, affirmed me and reminded me that I am the daughter of the King of Kings and I will NOT be shaken because He is my rock and my salvation.

11. It's okay to still be learning who you are.
If 2013 highlighted anything in my life, it's the idea that I am still growing. I mess up, daily. I fall, daily. And I constantly needed to have my eyes turned back to Christ and the cross. I learned a lot about myself this year but I am not done learning who I am and most importantly who I am in Christ.

12. It's even more okay to not have a 5 year plan.
I have no idea where I will be 5 years from now. None at all. I have a couple dreams but I am not fastened to any of them. I am learning to embrace the freedom I have to go where I am called and I hope that I continue to pursue Christ completely and that I answer His call with urgency.

13. Looking back helps you to heal but don't let it hold you back.
It's always important to remind yourself of where you've been but I refuse to allow my past to leave me feeling downtrodden and shameful. Christ is always turning my head forward and reminding me that I seek Him and Him alone.

I hope you take the time today to thank God for His goodness to you over the past 12 months. I pray it's a time of learning and growth for you and not a time of shame. And then, I ask God to turn your head forward as He beckons you to walk even closer with Him during the year 2014. I pray for blessings over all of you! Thank you for your support during this 365 project. Although I will not be posting daily I will still be updating my blog regularly!

Day ?!?

Apartently I made an input error somewhere along the way but regardless there are only 2 more posts before I successfully can cross off "Complete a 365 project" task off my to-do list!

Today I am thankful for spending the morning with my wonderful family, putting the finishing touches on the apartment, successful study sessions, learning to navigate around my new neighborhood, dinner and football with Lindsey and cuddles with this dog!

Day 359

Thankful for delicious pho lunch, successful day spent picking up/dropping off/buying furniture and apartment necessities, further progress on the apartment and dogs who always want to cuddle.

Day 358

Thankful for morning coffee after a restless night, safe drives back to Fort Worth, 90's jam sessions with the younger brother, gradually piecing together the new apartment and amazing parents. 

Because I am feeling sassy....

Been receiving a lot of grief lately because I am single so I've decided to compile of list of characteristics, hobbies, and general attributes required for any man seeking to date me. 

1. He loves Jesus and shows it in many ways including traveling on the weekends to care for the poor, orphaned and widowed. 

2. He only has three shirts in his closet because he literally gives people the clothes off his back.

3. He is busy on Sundays caring for infants in the church nursery and is also booked Wednesday nights because he teaches free guitar lessons to senior citizens.

4. He uses his engineering talents and brilliant mind to build clean water pumps in countries throughout the world.

5. He has been fired from a job for "caring too much."

6. He tips at least 25%.

7. He is notorious for taking in stray dogs and cats. He even pays their vet bills and has had to add additions on to his home to make room for them all until they find their next home.

8. When he's not busy caring for orphans and building wells, he can be found on his family ranch with his Dad where he goes hunting and fishing and basically learns how to be a man.

9. Not only is he extremely intelligent and well-mannered, but believe it or not he is also artistically gifted in song and guitar playing (hence the free senior citizen guitar lessons).

10. His perfect date consists of a truck bed packed full of blankets, a picnic basket loaded with fresh homemade delights, a good country song and a clear starry sky.

11. He knows his role as a man and clearly initiates all dates. He is open about how he is feeling and calls just to say "Hi!"

12. He's still a guys guy though and enjoys the simple things in life like a good cold Texas brew and fine crafted whiskey, how to handle a firearm and sports including baseball and collegiate football.

13. He is quite the handy-man and can fix most anything including a poorly running vehicle, leaky faucet, and non-heating dryer. Even better than that he enjoys car maintenance, building new furniture and installing all necessary systems.

14. He lounges around his house in baseball pants and a long sleeve grey tshirt but always dresses nicely for dates in a button down, blue jeans and boots. He is most often see wearing an old well-worn baseball cap but on some days he feels it necessary to wear his cowboy hat. 

15. He loves to read and enjoys browsing at the local library or half price.

16. Last but not least, he is perfectly fine spending the day cuddling on my couch while watching a Locked Up marathon.

Day 357

Thankful for waking up to breakfast, lunch with Mrs. Mae Burke and her incredible girls, afternoon study sessions, and enjoying the last day at home with the family. 

Day 356

Thankful for breakfast time with dad, productive afternoons spent studying for the boards and crafting my own headboard ( with Dad's assistance) and family dinners.

Day 355

Thankful for wonderful Christmas mornings, presents and laughter, prayers that remind us of the true celebration behind Christmas, and evening rain showers. 

Day 354

Thankful for morning walks with mom and pups, baking Christmas cookies, worship jams, Christmas eve surfaces, dinner with the family and Sullivan Christmas traditions! 

Day 353

Thankful for lunch with the family, afternoons spent watching football after studying for the board exam, dinners and drinks with Alley, and spending an evening laughing&catching up with one of the best friends I have ever had! 

Day 352

Thankful for church services with the family, encouraging text messages from friends, dinner with the older brother, sister in law and grandparents, Sullivan family game nights and cool winter fronts.

Day 351

Thankful for Saturday mornings at home, getting the house ready for Christmas, good runs with the puppy dog and evenings spent watching football with the younger brother. 

Day 350

Thankful for how quiet it is at home, more delicious hometown coffee brews, lunch from my favorite restaurant, old school movies and decorating the Christmas tree.

 

Day 349

Thankful for hometown coffee, successful study sessions, new hair cuts, relaxing afternoons at home, and getting to spend the evening at my younger brother's varsity football banquet. 

Day 348

Thankful for safe drives home, feeling good being back in the hometown, sunsets over the bay, and family dinner time. 

Day 347

Thankful for officially being free of Kensington apartments, mornings spent with Lindsey, afternoons spent organizing the new apartment, and for my dog self-initiating hanging out in her kennel. Small victories!!!!! 

Day 346

Thankful for delicious home cooking from a Texas original, window shopping, adventures with the puppy dog, having the pup checked out by the vet and receiving the all clear and healthy!, delicious dinners and adventures through historic Grapevine. 

Day 345

Thankful for days spent maing the new apartment feel like home, opportunities to learn about dog training, only one potty accident, dinner with the Boer family and comfy beds.

It's official...i am already a crazy dog owner. We had one incident of peeing in the apartment today but she's getting adjusted and so am I. Currently she is afraid of pretty much everything so I am learning even more about patience (God really does have a sense of humor). Taking one day at a time! 

Day 344

Thankful for early morning coffee runs, successful move outs, amazing friends who helped me move, new puppy dogs, and realizing that I don't have to be afraid because God is good.

Today we crazy. Moved out of the old apartment and into my first completely self-paid apartment. So far not really enjoying the whole not having a roommate thing but we shall see. I also adopted a dog because I am crazy. But really I did. I fell in love with her a few days ago and have been battling with myself about getting her. I told myself if she was adopted before I could get back to her today than that would be my sign. It goes without saying that she wasn't and ow I am officially a dog owner. This is my life! And it is good!

Day 343

Thankful for successful box Tetris (loaded my car full of stuff!), lazy last days in the apartment, ridiculous snap chats with friends and spending the evening watching intense prison shows with Lindsey. 

Day 342

Thankful for finding a successful route for the move on Saturday, Goodwill adventures with the roommate, ridiculous British rom-coms, LINDSEY GETTING HIRED (make that money gurl!), relaxing evenings eating Vegan food with Ty and my amazing friends who always know exactly what to say.

God has been teaching me A LOT (loud voice!) this year but the one topic He keeps pursuing within me is patience. I am terrible with patience. Some would say I lack it all together and in certain situations I definitely do. I hate not knowing the plan and hate even more when the defined plan is changed. But the beautiful thing about God is I don't need to worry about a plan. He's the mastermind and He's already figured it out for me which guarantees me great freedom! Freedom to enjoy this day without fear of tomorrow or worrying about next year because He's got it. Freedom to live without boundaries because He's guiding my feet. I live free yet my flesh turns constantly to captivity which is sin. When I react to situations I am reminded that the reaction is just the manifestation of something dark within me. The great thing though is that God lovingly sanctifies me but it's not a one step process. It's a continuum, day in and day out, and some days are tough. Some days are downright awful but I will endure because again I am free by Christ.

Day 341

Thankful for cozy mornings, delicious taco lunches, adorable dogs, loving Momma, and continued packing!

So I kind of maybe sort of absolutely fell in love with dog today. It goeswothoutsayingthatthetiming is absolutely TERRIBLE but if she's still available after I move in I am snatching her up because she is incredibly sweet and her fur is amazingly soft. If she's already adopted then I won't be looking into getting a dog until after my board exam but I can't pass this one up! Big girl life is exciting!

Day 340

Thankful for mornings I can spend being lazy, incredible friends who find me free moving boxes and are willing to spend their Saturday helping me move from Dallas to Fort Worth, checking things off the to-do list, gradually packing up the apartment and spending evenings with the roomie! 

Day 339

Thankful for fun shopping trips with the family, safe travels back home for the fam, starting the process of packing up the apartment, left overs and unexpected gifts from friends!

Day 338

I graduated today!!!!!!!! I am officially Dr. Kathleen Sullivan. God is so faithful. My whole life is an example of His steadfastness but this accomplishment proclaims His goodness so eloquently! I am incredibly thankful for my family and friends who were there to support me today like every other day over the past 2 1/2 years, fun family dinners and brunches, amazing gifts and cards, phone calls with bekah, and celebrating our accomplishments with the roommate!!!!! Ahhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!! 

Day 337

Thankful for lazy days with the roommate, safe drives for my family, amazing dinner celebrating graduation and reading encouraging card!

Day 336

Woke up humbled this morning and truly thinking. This whole winter storm through me and my graduation plans for a loop but God reminded me that He is bigger. I woke up to the city of Dallas covered in snow and man it was beautiful. Instead of worrying about this weekend I decided to appreciate today.

Day 335

Thankful for beautiful mornings at the lake house, Dads who always know what to say to make me feel better, safe drives back to Dallas, ridiculous news reports, and spending the night playing Family Feud with Lindsey while watching Tv and attempting to stay warm! #Snowapocalypse2013

Day 334

Thankful for last minute packing, road trips to the lake house, picking up the puppy dog, adventures on the 4-wheeler, striking up convo with the local cafés waitress, successfully building a fire and God's beauty shining through in nature and laughter and friendship and song.

Day 333

Thankful for waking up to the sun streaming in through my window, lazying around all day with the roommate, and finally having a fixed and appropriately working car! 

Day 332

Thankful for last days at school (School's out forever!), Dad's who always have my back, being approved for my first solo apartment, and for my ridiculous but amazing friends!

Day 331

Thankful for restful mornings, crazy afternoons spent apartment hunting, and lazy Sunday nights!

Day 330

Thankful for waking up to a cozy apartment, spending the morning cleaning and then getting ready for a first date, really wonderful first dates spent nerding out at a museum and eating hamburgers, and nights spent watching football and prison shows with the roommate! Today was just an incredibly good day. :]

Day 329

Thankful for amazing breakfasts, solid runs while listening to 90's jams, lazy days and good country music.

Day 328

Thankful for my amazing sister in law who invited me to hang out with her family for thanksgiving, delicious food in absolute abundance, playing crazy card games for multiple hours and laughter.

Day 327

Thankful for last days in clinic as a student, for encouraging words from co-workers, delicious dinners to celebrate with the roommate and relaxing all night! 

Day 326

Thankful for last days with my final clinical instructor, watching 3 of my patients discharge home before Thanksgiving, encouragement from clinicians that I am on the right path, and for God's absolute grace!

Today was a special day for me. It marked the end of my time as a student. Sure, I have a few things left to do to make everything official but today marks the beginning of the end. As I look back over the past 3 years and especially the last year I can only raise my hands in praise to my Abba because without Him I wouldn't be here today.

It's so easy to take encouragement and praise and allow it to be blocks to build yourself up with but today as my clinical instructor gave me my final remarks I realized just how deeply God's love has changed me. While my clinical abilities were graded as good it was my professionalism and ability to interact with patients, parents, and co-workers that was so applauded. And the crazy thing about that is without Jesus I wouldn't have those attributes.

You see, before Jesus remarkably changed the projection of my life, I was all about me. I wanted nothing more than to fill my life with the pleasures and idols of this world. I ran consistently and faithfully towards satisfaction , that never provided fulfillment. I was completely selfish, self-oriented, self-controlled and absolutely not self-giving. I used others to make me feel better about myself and greatly relied on their constant praise to feel "okay." I sought peer recognition and when I didn't get it I rejected the person who refused to give it to me and bashed their weaknesses. I was incredibly self-conscious and daily beat myself up for my faults physically and mentally. I was a liar. I was promiscuous in my dating relationships. I was disrespectful towards my family. I was manipulative. And I sought one thing, to be better than everyone else.

But now I am changed. I am a daughter of the King of Kings and He is my compass. He is what I consistently and faithfully runs towards. I yearn more and more of Him and seek His face daily. I crave fulfillment from His word and know that the only person I need to accept me did so before I was born by dying a excruciating death. And even greater than that He rose again and He lives today in me! He daily turns my heart of stone into a heart of flesh and His work in me is good but never done. He is molding me into His image despite the fact that I am completely unworthy. He builds me up each time I fall, and fall I do so often.

It is because of Him, and only Him, that I can give my all in daily situations. It is because of Him that I am able to be joyful in struggle, patient in difficult times, and understanding of the situations others find themselves in. And it is because of Him that I have succeeded in this difficult program.

There were so many times I wanted to give up because it was too hard and I grew too weary, but He was steadfast. He lifted my head and wiped tears from my eyes as I cried out to Him during my first semester to send me out of this country and into the mission field. And He whispered to me to remain faithful and to be patient. He gave me perseverance and rest during the stressful semesters that followed. He filled me with peace when I felt like a failure. He loved my heart so deeply that He provided me with comforting, encouraging and supporting friends, who despite the turmoil of this year stood by my side as I questioned whether I should continue on in PT school or move home to be with my family. He lovingly set me in my place when my sense of self-worth grew too big by providing me with a difficult last clinical rotation and a challenging clinical instructor. He never gave up on me. He never turned away. And through it all He was drawing me closer and closer to Himself.

I am thankful that He has opened my eyes to see that the achievements I have made in my life are for His glory not my own. My life could end tomorrow but my hope is that the way I lived would ripple away from my central core out into the lives of those I have interacted with and that their eyes would turn to the Creator of All Things.

My joy now longer stems from the praise of others but rather by projecting my praise to my good Father. Each day is a battle between the desires of my flesh and the gentle calling of The Spirit. I know that I will fall again but I know that my God is bigger and He will not forsake me. He loves me too much to allow me to destroy myself.

Sanctification isn't always an enjoyable process. Most of the time it's quite painful and it's hard because it's stone on stone, but I know that where I am now is greater than the life I planned before I was saved at 18. And for that I will continually raise my hands in praise.

Thank you Abba Father.

Day 325

Thankful for last Mondays as a PT student, adorable little patients who start speaking after NATBIs, gingerbread lattes, sweatpants and hoodies, and Matt Wertz pandora stations.

Day 324

Thankful for water and Gatorade, WHATABURGER, sweatpants and lifetime movies.

Day 323

Thankful for warm cuddly puppy dogs, delicious tea lattes, adventures with the roommate, amazing 90's playlists while we got all fancy, margarita ball madness, and snapchat.

Day 322

Thankful for last Fridays at clinic, evals that go better than expected, skinny peppermint mochas, spending the afternoon laughing and being silly with co workers, delicious comfort foods for dinner and finishing an adorable book!

Day 321

Thankful for busy days back at work, meeting new kiddos, continuing the countdown to the LASTDAY of clinicals, half price margaritas and ridiculous photos from friends.

Day 320

Thankful for productive mornings with delicious winter dream tea lattes, teriyaki chicken, and amazing weather.

Day 319

Thankful for opportunities to sleep in, productive days to catch up on all the little things, crockpot chicken and dumplings, and puppy cuddles.

Day 318

Thankful for beautiful sunrises on the way to work, finding out I don't have to be in clinic for the next couple of days, being productive at home, and crossing things off my to-do list.

Day 317

Thankful for shopping expeditions even if they fail miserably, preparing for the last full week of clinicals and being lazy.

Day 316

Thankful for my awesome roommate, free coffee, house hunting, imagining the future and knowing that in the end God is in control.

Day 315

Thankful for Fridays, continually getting closer to the end of my last clinical, lazy nights spent with the roommate and pup dog.

Day 314

Thankful for successful evaluations, getting to hold adorable babies all day, ridiculous conversations with my besties, $3 dollar margaritas, and my roommate. 

Day 313

Thankful for waking up joyful despite a frigid apartment, warm coats, snap chatting with the besties, setting up plans to look at houses (eeeek! :]), crockpot meals, gingerbread lattes and comfy beds.

Day 312

Thankful for my dad and older brother who always give me great advice, short days at work, stepping into the 21st century (that's right y'all I have an iPhone...RIP Sammy Samsung, you were a solid companion for 4 years), house hunting with Lindsey, and catching up with miss alley.  

Day 311

Thankful for successful in services, encouragement from clinicians, marking down days till the end of my last clinical, frozen yogurt trips with the roommate, and phone calls with the bestie.

Day 310

Thankful for homestyle breakfast with the family, worshipping in Grandpa's church, lazy afternoons with the crew, safe flights back home, and roommates who clean the apartment while you are gone.

This weekend was so bittersweet for me. I know that Grandpa is singing in full glory with Christ and with that knowledge I will rest easy. I miss him dearly and know that this will be one of many days that I miss him but I know that I will see him again.

Day 309

Thankful for entire days spent with the family celebrating the life of my grandpa. Love hearing the stories about how he affected people's lives, how he served The Lord fervently, how he loved his family and how he led this country. 

Day 308

Thankful for officially being employed (papers signed), applying for my temporary license, safe flights to virginia, seeing family I haven't seen in over 15 years, and remembering grandpa as the incredible man he was. 

Day 307

Thankful for Thursdays that are actually Fridays, counting down till last clinical day, watching football with the roomie in public and SYTTD.

Day 306

Thankful for late mornings, Starbucks coffee, worship jams while stuck in traffic, spending time with an encouraging clinician, texts from friends full of scripture and truth, leaving clinic early and crockpot meals.

Day 305

Thankful for opportunities to learn from new clinicians, feeling as though I am a necessary part of the team, encouraging text messages from friends, cold weather, and cuddly blankets.

Day 304

Thankful for rejuvenating Sundays, starting my morning with encouragement from the Word and hot coffee, only productive consisted of grocery shopping and laundry, afternoons spent watching rom-coms with the roommate, and cool evenings.

THIS VERSE. 

Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal. (2 Corinthians 4:16-18 NIV)

Day 303

Thankful for new coffee flavors, morning runs in 60 degree weather listening to Tenth Avenue North, her hair color for fall time, college football Saturday, aggie football win (whoop!), and adding an extra hour on for time change.

Day 302

Thankful for Fridays, meeting new students, half days at clinic, new coffee, delicious dinner and knowing I get to sleep in tomorrow.

Day 301

My grandad passed on to be with The Lord this morning at 8:20am. I am encouraged by his faithfulness and trust in God and know that he is celebrating in glory tonight. I can only ask for prayers for my whole family at this time as we deal with the loss of a wonderful man; father, grandfather, spiritual leader and Air Force veteran. I am so thankful for the trip I made to see him during which I heard his story of redemption. He was shot down during WWII and he survived not only the crash but the freezing sea waters. He told me that he was praying for God to save him from the freezing waters and to provide him warmth and comfort. He recalled how he saw a light at he end of his life raft and began to feel warm. He said he knew it was Jesus and it that moment not only was his physical being saved but also his spiritual soul. I love that I will always have this memory of my grandfather.

Thankful today for understanding CIs, adorable patients in costumes, amazing and uplifting conversations with my dear friend Phillip, phone calls from my besties, my amazing roommate and my loving parents. 

“Thomas Edison’s last words were ‘It’s very beautiful over there’. I don’t know where there is, but I believe it’s somewhere, and I hope it’s beautiful.”

Day 300

WOW, first off I cannot believe today marks day 300 of my journey through a year of thankfulness. This has truly been an uplifting endeavor despite occasional days where I forget, haha.

Today I am thankful for cool rainy days, being able to encourage a Momma to stay strong and ensure her that she is doing everything just right, hugs from an adorable little girl who's discharging home tomorrow, having a sixteen year old tell you they'd rather work with you than your CI, and coming home to a rambunctious puppy and hilarious roommate. Praying that God provides a great first job for Lindsey and selfishly hoping it's near colleyville so we can stay roommates. She has made a HUGE difference in my life and my ability to laugh through the rough times. Very blessed by her friendship.  

Day 299

Thankful for not having to wake up before 6 am, holding precious babies, encouragement from clinicians, coming home to the smell of a ready to eat crock pot meal and evenings spent playing with the pup, talking to the roomie and trying to make a plan for this crazy life!

Day 298

Thankful for getting to spend the work day with a great friend, seeing a patient after three months and seeing all the significant improvements that have occurred, spiced latte coffee creamer, roommate with cooking skills, delicious cupcakes, and being able to push my alarm clock back 30mins.

Day 297

Thankful for warm blankets, cuddling up all morning, grocery shopping with the roommate, neighborhood adventures and relaxing on Sunday.

Day 296

Thankful for sleeping in, morning coffee, productive afternoons, dinner with two wonderful ladies, college football and prison shows.

Day 295

Thankful for FRIDAYS, puppy dog cuddles, finally finding a good Mexican food place in Addison, evenings spent lounging on the couch and fro yo.

Day 294

Thankful for waking up joyful, confidence about my new job, surviving an insanely disorganized day in clinic, ACCEPTING MY FIRST BIG GIRL JOB:), new coworkers, invites to the Christmas party (even though technically I won't be an employee, yet). delicious easy-to-make meals, and Oktoberfest brews.

Day 293

Thankful for encouragement from other therapists even if my CI kind of beats me down on a daily basis (haha...sigh), adorable patients who are beginning to become so comfortable with you that they break into a huge smile when they see you (yeah, adorbs), free lunch, afternoon coffee breaks at the old starbucks stomping ground, incredibly uplifting and positive interviews with my former CI.....oh and um....BEING OFFERED MY FIRST BIG GIRL JOB! AWWWWWWW YA! God IS SO incredibly GOOD to me. I cannot even begin to thank him enough. First, He encourages my dad by providing clean scans yesterday and then today He offers me a job at my dream clinic. I walk in the door only to be met by smiles and hugs. We talked about my dad, my current clinical and then we get down to business. We talk expectations, growth potential, learning opportunities and numbers ($$chaching) and then my former CI (soon to be boss...weird!) tells me how he knows this is a God thing. That's pretty much all I needed. Excited to call him tomorrow and accept unless God completely wrecks me tonight! So excited, encouraged and ready for this next chapter. God is FAITHFUL!

Day 292

Thankful for baked goods, hot coffee on chilly mornings, afternoon runs (even if they are cut short), preparing for my fiery job interview (ah! Big girl life!), shopping trips to target with the roommate, and good old country songs. 

Day 291

Thankful for opportunities to connect with other students, for cute patients who laugh during an entire treatment session, cheap meals with all you can eat ice cream and for clear 6month check ups!

Dad has his six month check up today and the doctor report that everything looked great. Praising God for His healing hand and for the blessings He has bestowed on my dad. Asking for continued prayers and my dad hoes through the continuous healing process. He will have another check up and full body scan in six months. God is able!! 

Day 290

Thankful for breakfast tacos, extra caffeinated coffee, showers, and going to be before 9pm.

Day 289

Thankful for getting to eat all my favorite Aggieland foods, tailgating, meeting new people, my amazing gal pals and ridiculous adventures on north gate.

Day 288

Thankful for Fridays, free cupcakes, new patients, encouragement from classmates, successful drives to college station, midnight yell and walks down memory lane.

Day 287

Thankful for early morning coffee, opportunities to observe medical procedures, doctors who take my profession seriously, dinner with The Boers and knowing tomorrow is FRIDAY.

Day 286

Thankful for successful midterm visits (pumped to catch a glimpse of the light at the end of the tunnel), free lunches, making jokes with co-workers, encouraging and educational conversations with Dad, and evenings spent trying to figure out my "adult life"

Day 285

Thankful for early release from work, afternoons spent being productive, amazing autumn cold fronts, puppy cuddles, and evenings spent watching TV/ relaxing.

Day 284

Thankful for rainy days, discussion times, meeting new patients and their families, hazelnut macchiatos, warm chocolate chip cookies and hilariously awful TV shows.

Day 283

Thankful for cool autumn days, pumpkin spice flavored EVERYTHING, catching up on school work and sleepy puppy dogs.

Day 282

Thankful for relaxing days spent watching college football, boat riding on the lake and laying around playing with puppy dogs. Thankful for time spent with my "adopted" family away from home and for having opportunities to just lay outside and look at the stars.

Day 281

Thankful for Fridays, for surviving another week of my last clinical, for hugs from patients on their discharge day and for coming home to puppy kisses!

Day 280

Thankful for early morning breakfast bagels, Puppy dog cuddles, Boba tea, crockpot meals, and for my roommate's understanding spirit.

I have really been struggling through this last clinical. Unlike previous internships I cannt seem to find my stride. I feel as though each day is a peak or a valley and there is no consistency. It causes me to second guess so many things, to become bitter and resentful, and to start shutting people out. I started a new devotional on anxiety and was really encouraged by the first study.

"STAY PRAYED UP 

According to author Bob Beaudine, anxiety occurs when you believe your nightmares instead of your dreams. It affects your physical and mental well-being. 

However there is one area that it doesn’t affect – your Spiritual well-being. 

The reason why anxiety cannot affect your Spiritual well-being directly is because the Holy Spirit makes this part of you alive – which is the same Spirit that raised Jesus from the dead!

Because the Holy Spirit is aware of things to come, He can’t be anxious about the future. He is in perfect peace. He is of one mind with the Father and the Son and knows the ultimate plan for your life. He knows anything happening to you now is just temporary, a part of your life story. 

Have you sought the Lord in prayer about His purpose for your life? Are you confident that the place you are and the people you are with are those in line with that purpose? Many people suffer from needless stress, worry, and anxiety because they are in places and with people God never intended for them! 

I listened to pastor Robert Morris teach about how we need to raise the level of prayer in our lives. He said, “Prayer is transferring your burdens to the Lord. If you’ve prayed and you are still carrying the burden afterwards, you didn’t really pray; you just griped.”

He joked about a man who spoke to him about a problem he was having and he asked the man, “Have you transferred it to the Lord?” The man answered, “Yes, I have. Many times!” I laughed because many times I called myself giving a problem to the Lord – only to take it back. 

The more anxious you are, the more you need to redirect that energy into prayer and praise. Double the anxiety? Double the prayer! Use your prayer time to ask God to show you His purpose for your life and His viewpoint on the situations you are dealing with. Even if you are feeling shaky, let the word of the Lord settle the matter. 

Always pray with a thankful heart; everything that you have is a result of God’s supply. He is the ultimate source, not money, a job, career, relationship, a perfect clothing size, or anything else. Once that fact becomes a reality to you, then God’s peace will sustain you." - Kimberly Taylor 

Asking God to be my sustaining breath. I need Him to be my focus always. His plan is better and I desperately need to see His face in this time. 

Day 279

Thankful for new patients, for the work of CPS and delicious dinners at home with the roomie, pup, and pumpkin brew.

Day 278

Thankful for adorable patients who say things like "I wuv you so mutch.", for reaching the 7 th week mark of my last clinical, learning opportunities at school and watching a puppy learn discipline while staying insanely cute.

Day 277

Thankful for cool autumn mornings, ridiculous conversations with preteen patients, afternoon walks with the new puppy dog, and evenings spent watching TV with the roomie.

Day 276

Thankful for waking up feeling refreshed, beautiful autumn days, relaxing Sundays, crockpot meals, and four-legged furry friends :)

My roommate adopted a dog this evening. Her name is Maggie. And she's adorable.

Day 275

Thankful for Saturday morning lectures, catching up with classmates over lunch, productive afternoons, fall weather, college football and relaxing evenings. 

Day 274

Thankful for my internal clock which woke me up despite forgetting to set an alarm, opportunity to work with a new therapist, talking about the future, spending time in the pool at work, and evenings spent relaxing at home catching up on tv shows.

Day 273

Thankful for reuniting with old classmates, opportunities to learn and laugh with professors and free Starbucks coffee.

Day 272

My sweet buddy passed away last night but I am comforted by the fact that he was home with his family and is now in the arms of his Abba. Thankful for working in an environment filled with prayer, encouraging words from my CI, opportunities to cook a full dinner, for Mommy and Megan who called to check in on me and for God's faithfulness. 

Day 271

Thankful for ridiculous television shows, thoughtful roommates, and delicious dinners. 

Day 270

Thankful for making through the day without completely breaking down, for seeing a smile on a kiddo's face even when he is going through significant suffering, for having a Momma that always sympathasizes and knows exactly what to say, for my incredibly powerful prayer chain, for my roommate who did all of my laundry while I was gone, and for God's light shining in the darkness. 

Definitely the hardest clinical day thus far in my career. Put a kiddo on a Halo flight to Oklahoma knowing that the probability of him seeing the weekend was slim. Despite all he is going through he laughed during our interaction today and that smile will forever be inscribed on my heart. I know that God teaches us even in suffering but this type of learning is never fun. I know He is faithful and He will endure. I am so encouraged by this kiddo's family and pray that The Lord would embrace them over the next few days. I pray that He would grant my little buddy peace and rest and that absolute comfort would fill the hearts of his parents, siblings and family members. You are good, Abba. I know that Your plan is perfect but open my eyes to see Your mercy even in the shadows. 

Day 269

Thankful for this weekend with my grandad, for time with my Momma and safe flights home. 

Day 268

Thankful for waking up to breakfast with the grandparents, afternoons spent doing chores for grandpa, watching football with my grandpa, praying with my family, and getting amazing marriage advice from grandma. Favorite quote - "I love him but my gosh he annoys me." I want a love like that :)

Day 267

Thankful for getting to spend time with Grandad, for hearing his story of how he met Jesus, for helping all that I can even if it's just watering plants, realizing again how thankful I am for my dad pulling through and for all my friends who are so steadfast in prayer.

Continuing to go through a dark time in my life. I feel surrounded by death and it's so hard. I hate seeing the depression that comes with dying and it breaks and overwhelms my heart. Praying for God to bring light into this darkness. Pleading with Him to be a loving Dad who holds His children closely even in their time of pain and struggle.

Day 266

Thankful for seeing excitement in a patient's face, meeting Mom at the airport, seeing family I haven't seen for a long time and catching up on TV shows.

Day 265

Thankful for frozen pizza and dessert foods. 

Day 264

Thankful for beautiful morning skies, spending time laughing with sweet kiddos, earning a child's trust, watching patients excitement when they learn they are being discharged, sangria-margarita swirls, and New Girl.

Been praying fervently for God to heal one of my kiddos. He's an adorable little boy who over the past month has significantly declined. He has difficulty with even the most simple taks like holding his head up or lifting his hands. He is such a sweet spirit and even though he cannot speak due to poor breath support I make it a goal to see he smile during each of my PT sessions. It's always sad watching a patient decline but it's even harder when that patient is a child. Asking for God to heal but even more import a fly to save, save this little boy and his entire family. Be their comfort and strength. God is able. 

Day 263

Thankful for starting week 5 of my last clinical, leftover birthday cake and encouragement from friends.

Day 262

It's my 25th BIRTHDAY! That's right, I am officially 1/4 of a century old! Today could not have been any more wonderful. Woke up to delicious pancakes and a fresh cup of coffee from the roommate, spent the morning lounging around in my PJs, decided to head out of the apartment for a quick lunch from the pizza place across the place, then adventured around Addison a bit for some shopping and boba tea. Ended the evening with an incredible time of learning from God's Word on the subject of sanctification and then was able to stay after the service for some sweet sweet worship and communication time with my Abba. God is so good to me and it defies all human logic. I am looking forward to spending the next week reading through my old journals to see all The Lord has done in my life over the past 7 years and reflecting on where He is leading me to. My life is crazy, confusing, and frustrating at times but it is mine and it is beautiful. Praying that God continues to mold me into a woman of Christ over this next year. I am asking for discernment over where my road is headed but am learning to trust His lead and be patient in each stage. I pray that He would continue to show me the beauty in the little things and would proceed with the continual process of sanctification. Asking for Him to destroy the desires of my flesh and to crumble all my idols. I want to yearn for time with Him and I wish to seek His face more and more. Thankful for all my friends and family who make this and every day joyful. 

Birthday pancakes with sprinkles &candles!

Delicious birthday cake from Mom and Dad

Day 261

Thankful for sleep, days spent shopping and playing with puppies, birthday celebrations with dear friends, and college football.

Day 260

Thankful for rain, pumpkin spice lattes, breakfast muffins, Fridays and nights spent watching old 90's movies.

Day 259

Thankful for one-on-one time with patients, being able to relate to a patient's situation, free lunch, adorable smiles from my new favorite kiddo, Whataburger, amazing professors willing to spend 2 and 1/2 hours giving advice and listening to frustrations, and evening thunderstorms.

Day 258

Thankful for smiles from patients, new orthotics and dessert.

Day 257

Thankful for not having to be in clinic till 8 am, not hitting traffic on the way home, delicious tacos, Oktoberfest brews and New Girl!!!

Day 256

Thankful for incredibly cute patients, brownies, long talks with Dad and new TV shows to watch!

Day 255

Today was another gift from my Abba. Incredibly thankful for His precious gifts to me. Thankful for restful nights sleep, waking up without an alarm and not having to rush out of bed, Target expeditions with the roommate, afternoons spent reading challenging truths from The Word and learning from God's people, incredibly powerful worship with Christ's beloved bride and car rides full of laughter. 

During opening prayer at church tonight I asked God to be undeniably tangible. I asked Him to be so present that the air would feel different in our lungs. I asked Him to break down walls that were holding back His Church and to exchange hearts of stone for hearts of flesh. Man oh man did He move tonight! I loved listening to the voice of the bride rise up to proclaim God's sovereignty. I am continually encouraged by the joy heard through worship. It's so refreshing to witness God pouring out love over His children. He is so good, friends! 

"On my knees I can see,

Where my heart needs to be.

When this life gets to me,

I'll be found on my knees" 

On My Knees - Seryn

Day 254

Thankful for sleeping in, morning coffee, college football Saturday, Texas A&M Aggies, my ridiculous roommate and relaxing evenings spent on the couch.