I finished any entire book today...no shame. I am a HUGE book nerd. I read, in its entirety, "Redeeming Love". It was INCREDIBLE. I relate so to the main characters fears, self doubts, internal conflicts and overall desire to love & be loved. If you haven't read it I highly encourage you to pick up a copy. The lead lady was sold into prostitution as a little girl and would find herself jumping from place to place always surviving off the lust of men. She learned to turn off all emotion and to trust no one. She is rescued by a God-fearing gentlemen who becomes her idol and God in His mercy separates the two in order to woo her to Himself.
“Therefore, behold, I will allure her, bring her into the wilderness, and speak kindly to her. Then I will give her her vineyards from there, and the valley of Achor as a door of hope. HOSEA 2 : 14 – 15”
Her inner dialogue reflects so many conversations that have left me feeling conflicted and distraught. One of my greatest fears is finding a true Godly man and then having to tell him my past. I fear the day I have to expel all the truths of my life before Christ. My spirit tells me to not worry because a true follower of Christ will not judge me or disregard me for sins (“Judge not, that ye be not judged. For with the judgment you pronounce you will be judged, and the measure you give will be the measure you get. MATTHEW 7 : 1”) but my flesh tells me that I do not deserve such a man. I know the anguish that comes with the reality that it is easier to shut off emotion than to be overwhelmed by it daily and this deadly cycle leads to darkness. God in His mercy did not leave me to my own control but rather broke me of my self-hatred and left me with nothing to do but fall on my knees at the base of the cross.
“Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest. MATTHEW 11 : 29”
“As a hart longs for flowing streams, so longs my soul for thee. PSALM 42 : 1”
I am continually being molded by My Papa. I am prone to the same cycles of destruction and yet He never turns from me. He softly calls me back and aligns my feet again. It is often in my times of pure devastation that I feel the most pure before God. My salvation is a continual, painful processing. God works by chipping away the parts of me that are not of Him in order to reveal the radiance of Christ so easily covered in filth by my sinfulness.
“For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I do. ROMANS 7 : 19”
“Weeping may last for the night, But a shout of joy comes in the morning. PSALM 30 : 5”
I am learning to be joyous with my present circumstances and to focus on what God is calling me to do NOW not what He might call me to later. For my life is not my own, but a daily sacrifice given to the King of Kings. I realize that He is shaping me into a woman after His own image, despite my tendency to pull away from things that are Holy. I will always be a sinner but IN Christ I can be redeemed.
“But now, thus says the LORD, your Creator, O Jacob, and He who formed you, O Israel: “Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name; you are Mine!” ISAIAH 43 : 1”
“But if we hope for what we do not have, we wait for it patiently. ROMANS 8 : 25"
“You are our letter… written not in ink, but with the Spirit of the living God, not on stone tablets, but on tablets of human hearts. 2 CORINTHIANS 3 : 2 – 3”
“You are all fair, my love; there is no flaw in you. SONG OF SOLOMON 4 : 7”
What shakes me more than the closeness I feel to the characters emotions is the idea that even today young ladies are being enslaved and used as sources of self satisfaction and sexual lust. How, as Christians, can we continue to turn away from the devastation found through sex trafficking, the porn industry, and the blatant disregard of a woman's worth? The media explicitly promotes the idea that a true woman is a sexual being and nothing more. When a woman is portrayed as strong she is a "bitch". When she is moral, she's a prude or a square or a coward. When she's promiscuous, she's a whore/tramp/slut. Why do we allow this attack on women? Why do we allow these images to flood the minds of our innocent girls? We desperately need a Savior.
“So whatever you wish that men would do to you, do so to them. MATTHEW 7 : 12”
My prayer is for an awakening in this country. I pray that we learn to view women the way God does. I pray that as women we find our self-worth not in materialistic or sexual ways but rather through Our Abba. I pray that our young girls would be deaf to the words of society and blind to the images portrayed by the media. I pray that God would be our great Redeemer. I pray for the destruction of sex trafficking and of the porn industry. I pray for healing in lustful hearts. I pray for a revolution.
“Come, let us return to the Lord; for he has torn, that he may heal us; he has stricken, and he will bind us up. HOSEA 6 : 1”
“Many are the plans in a man’s heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails.
PROVERBS 19 : 21”
-excerpts taken from "Redeeming Love" by Francine Rivers
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