Day 104

Thankful for opportunities to sleep in, productive afternoons, and prayer answering sermons.

Tonight's sermon was focused on the fact that we as believers are prone to drift from God. Umm...perfect much? There is a tendency in all of us to pull away from God and this has been evident throughout history. BUT! We have a God who does not leave us to our own undoings but rather provides us with guidance from His word and accountability from His bride, the church.

So often over the past month I have found myself drawn away from God either to things, tasks, or simply pure laziness. Then I'll find myself rushing back to Him asking for Him to evident and powerful in my life! I grow weary of this continual cycle! Even the most mundane thing can turn into a distraction that robs us of our affections for Christ!

Matt said tonight, "Our weaknesses encourage one another to greater holiness and create safe places for us to experience the love of God!" But yet we tend to boast about our strengths and make much of our accomplishments. We fail to honestly and willingly testify about our shortcomings and in doing so we prevent growth in the body. We try so hard to do things FOR God rather than THROUGH Him and begin to find our identity in tasks rather than in Christ and the adopting work done through Him!

Matt also said, "God doesn't love the future version of you, He loves you right now! He's already saved you, believer!" We need to quit trying to fix ourselves and rather turn our focus to God. We need to live for Him. We need to expand our vision and see past our nearsightedness. We require, which means depend on for success or survival, DAILY reliance on God. We need to live for today rather than jumping to tomorrow. What is God calling you to do TODAY? Where does He need you right now? Who has He placed in your life at this moment?

I desperately need accountability. I need sisters willing to lovingly display my blind spots, to honestly confess sin, and to walk daily in The Word to grow into Godly women. I need to stop focusing on my singleness and my "incompleteness" and rather focus on my completed adoption through Christ. I need to spend time in God's Word daily, to soak in His truths and to be molded by His love. I need to truly allow God to be in control of my life. I need to quit making check off lists that lead me to destruction when I fail to meet them. I need to be vulnerably open, in a way that allows me to be a tool for the King of Kings.

Continued prayers for Dad and his healing. Prayers for my uncle who may also be faced with a cancer battle. Prayers for 9 year old Catherine Brower who has been diagnosed with a malignant, inoperable tumor in her brain. I am SO exhausted with cancer but God is bigger than this. We must pray fervently and with expectation, knowing and truly believing that He is who He says He is!